SENSITIVES: 9 Tips to help you handle overwhelm in social situations

 

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I’ve been hearing a similar question over and over from my clients lately about how they feel as sensitives and empaths when in overwhelming social situations……

“As empaths we are constantly questioning ourselves, assuming we are at fault or are the only ones feeling bad in a social situation. How do we know which part of ourselves to listen to? Our heads and logic trying to make sense of things or how we feel?”

 

MY RESPONSE:

1

It comes down to first of all understanding that there is nothing wrong with you. You are not wrong or bad or weak. Your sensitivity is your strength and gift.

Plus there are probably more people at your event who are feeling a LOT and are highly sensitive than you realise.

 

2

It’s OK (and recommended) to take yourself off somewhere quiet, even to the loo! Lock the door. Or get away from people, preferably near a tree or on some grass or soil and give yourself a few moments to very gently and lovingly acknowledge how you are really feeling. Very often we just need to give ourselves some loving attention so we can relax and take a few deep breaths into what we are feeling.

 

3

Focus on sensations in your body, on planting your feet and breathing.

 

4

Give yourself a hug.

 

5

If you are feeling anxious and panicky then take a few moments to touch the surface you are sitting on or standing beside and name it out loud, describing it’s colour and texture. For example “I’m sitting on cool, green grass”. Then notice and name 3 things you can see. Then 2 sounds you can hear or something you can smell. This helps to get you grounded and calm.

 

6

Say soothing things to yourself as you would a child you love who was feeling the same way. In fact it is often our inner child traumatised from a lifetime of empathy we’ve hidden or suppressed that is pulling at you. You are feeling a lot because you have enhanced senses and find social situations a bit intense and your inner sensitive and inner child needs to feel safe. That’s totally OK.

 

7

Remember if you need to go home, then go, give yourself permission to practice radical self-care and put yourself first. Go home, with no shame or guilt. It is an act of courage and love to look after yourself that way.

 

8

If you really feel you have to stay then simply give yourself a hug and some loving self-talk such as:

“OK Little Kimmie (my inner child), OK body, I can hear you, I love you, I’m here, I can tell you are feeling a lot and I will look after you. I’m listening. You just need to stay until 8pm/for another hour/for another 30 minutes then we’ll go home. Kimberley you don’t need to explain. Just go and be fully present with your host until then and then leave.”

 

9

Then place a huge pink glowing bubble around you pouring love into your energy fields and protecting your space and rejoin your gathering, remembering to breathe down into your belly.

 

 

Your head will always try to do some kind of bypass of your feelings (it’s part of being human) but as an Empath our feelings and the sensations in our bodies are the truth of what we really need, so learn to listen to them first and to respond to yourself with loving kindness like an evolved and conscious parent would.

And remember, your breath is your safe place.

 

 

Did you find these helpful? Can you suggest any more helpful tips? Leave a comment below. Thank you!

Lots of love,

kim signature copy

 

 

 

Comments

  1. Your article “SENSITIVES: 9 Tips to help you handle overwhelm in social situations” was very timely for me. I just went through such a situation three days ago…and I have been going through similar situations all my life…I just never knew I was an empath…I just thought I was a very sensitive person who was experiencing social phobia….and couldn’t take being around other people for very long without feeling like I wanted to climb out of my skin (more likely a mix of the two). What made this last situation different for me was that I found myself coming from this small still quiet place within (dividends paying off from my meditation and yoga practices)….so I didn’t get overwhelmed. Normally, I would feel like I was going on overload but this time everything was happening in slow motion and I was able to deal with all the incoming signals, messages and insights as well as the tidal wave of thoughts going on inside my head. I think that in the past, this would have triggered an anxiety attack but this time I found myself as an observer…quietly watching others…and myself as well. It was a very interesting shift. The outcome was interesting too. I let myself feel my uncomfortableness and stayed with it…I stayed present with myself…as I watched the social performance going on around me, I still managed to feel detached from it. I also realized that I really wasn’t comfortable being in it because I couldn’t be down to earth around these people….I had to push myself to be someone else in order to fit in with them. And while that wasn’t the time to sort out what that meant exactly, I honored this need inside myself to be authentic…and to have authentic connections with others…and it wasn’t happening in this social setting…so I honored my desire to leave whenever I felt like it. Just acknowledging that need…and empowering myself to follow that need…created an important shift inside of me….it allowed myself to trust myself. For once, I followed my own lead…no ifs, ands or buts…no self recrimination. I focused on what I needed and not what was expected of me or what I had to do for others. I needed to send myself that message…that its okay to follow my own lead…even if I sometimes don’t quite know where its leading me to. There is a deep need in me to be there for myself.

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